PARENT GUIDE: UNDERSTANDING YOUR GIFTED CHILD

UNDERSTANDING YOUR GIFTED CHILD
 

WHAT ARE GIFTED CHILDREN LIKE?

 

There are myriad stories which illustrate gifted children often think fundamentally different from their age-peers. Gifted children are full of enterprise, versatility, adventurous, and enthusiastic to extend experience beyond the physically familiar. A pioneer both in thought and action, gifted children are "divergent thinkers". Their minds are constantly open to new dimensions of thought and a lover of freedom.

Gifted children have both profound and widely ranging minds, equipped with foresight and good judgment. Gifted children classically can discern solutions to highly complex problems and are very quick to make connections between seemingly unrelated things. An exceptionally gifted children can be said, to principally view the world through a "highly unique lens" as compared with normal vision of others.

 

While the intellectual aspects of their personality are great, the emotional characteristics of gifted children make them "different, outrageous or even odd". Perhaps, this partially explains, why so many gifted children have "imaginary playmates" during their preschool years.

 

"Gifted children are unique in both their intellectual development and the development of their personality. These attributes, including a strong understanding of the abstract, creative problem solving abilities, and intense emotional development provide a framework of understanding for both parents and educators as they work to identify and assist gifted children (Webb et al, 2007)."

 

Gifted children are intense in all aspects of their lives. Just as gifted children are unique in matters of intellectual and personality development. They are also distinctive with regard to emotional development. Often characterized as individuals who see the world in pictures, they are likely to be intense in their views, behaviors and feelings.

 

Another typical trait of gifted children is "a strong sense of morality" including an early awareness of the complex problems facing humanity. This often results in early development of empathy and a mature understanding of the social aspects of the world, which seem to explain the universe. Driven by the intensity of their cognitive abilities, gifted children often have strong and unyielding logical reasoning needs to understand the world. In order, for them to feel comfortable and accepted.

 

Gifted children seek "acceptance and approval" and they typically try to please, through emphasizing some personal strength that is recognized by others. Often this strength is intellectual achievements and this may lead to many demonstrations of "mental prowess". It usually comes as surprises to them that others, do not share their perspectives, their curiosity and their intensity. It also surprises them that others see them differently than they see themselves. Sometimes gifted children are highly focused in their interests and seem to immerse themselves in a topic to the point of "fanaticism".

 

"These children naturally possess strong emotions that can fluctuate easily between very happy and very sad. They often are passionate in their approach to life, highly empathetic, and overly critical, especially to themselves. Gifted children typically hold themselves, and others, to an impossibly high standard (Silverman, 1989)."

 

 



Gifted children are strong-willed individual and they enjoy exploration. Gifted children think rapidly, are "intuitive" and often original, and are better at inventing since they are ingenious. Gifted children usually like to engage in a great deal of "experimentation" and they love to initiate new projects. A combination that gives them the ability to bring any project, they undertake to a successful conclusion. Their generosity can be balanced by their extreme care at handling their resources.

 

With their creative thinking, curiosity, energy and enthusiasm with which they pursues their activities. Gifted children welcome challenges that will stir them to action. Gifted children often demonstrate exceptional reasoning abilities, leading to rapid learning rates, quick mastering of mundane information and a strong capacity to understand abstract information. That often, is characterized by an almost passionate need to learn.

 

Gifted children can see various possibilities and alternative solutions within a situation. Gifted children also habitually try to do things in different ways, sometimes in activities or even ordinary tasks. On one hand, this trait is delightful and astonishing. But on the other hand, with their limited experience, though they can see the many opportunities. Thus, may impair their judgments to anticipate the outcome of the potentials. Often with "charismatic" or even "catastrophic results.

 

Consequently, this may generate misunderstandings or problems for the gifted children and their family. At home, even his ever-tolerant mother lost her tolerance at times! It can drive a mother at least once, to seek shelter in the bathroom just to cool off. It is not unusual for mother to insist on regular naptimes, so that the mother can get a time-out!

 

"Gifted children also are creative problem solvers, seeking inventive ways to learn and master new information. Prone to a highly vivid imagination, many gifted children are creative in both their use of language and their understanding of the world around them (Silverman, 1989)."

 

Gifted children also characteristically exhibit an unusually high level of energy. Their immense energy makes them aggressive and restless, headstrong, argumentative occasionally, quick tempered, easily offended and capable of holding grudges, if they feel themselves affronted. Since the gifted children activity level can be so high, they have the potential of being mistaken perceived by parents as "hyperactive".

 

Gifted children may be at risk for misdiagnoses curbing from limitations in the knowledge and training of behavioral health specialist and may be placed on medication for "attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), bipolar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder". With careful observation, parents can avoid such an error.

 

 



Despite the fact, a significant difference occurs among gifted children. Gifted children undoubtedly are more intellectually diverse group than average children. Yet, they do have intellectual characteristics in common.

 

 

Gifted children and their family may be higher risk for encountering certain kind of "stresses or psychological problems". Furthermore, the emotional roller coaster that can accompany giftedness, makes parenting a "true challenge". The emotional upheaval parents experience, the risks the child's face, and the constant need for persistence, creativity, and vision, are all part of everyday life in the gifted world.

To better understand the basic mindset and the problems gifted children is facing, there's no secret or magic formula. Parents need to bridges any gaps with understanding and education to create "a conductive learning environment" that allows the child to engage in "self-reflection" and "self-directed learning" and hence look for the appropriate mitigation measures and initiatives, which in turn widens the possibility of "tackling issue in its infant stage" and not at the catastrophic stage.

Therefore, basic "good parenting" is necessary whether a child is gifted or not. Like all other children, gifted children need "limits, discipline and guidance". Gifted children need to be encouraged, nurtured, stimulated and challenged in their encounters with the world. As well as the freedom, to experience the "natural consequences" of their behaviors.

 

 

A major key in aiding gifted children to develop understanding of themselves is to cultivates and encourages an "open communication culture", where parents can communicate directly with them. Gifted children are taught early to overcome potentially "destructive stress" situations, by simply providing them with emotional and intellectual enrichment. Foster strong working relationships with the child and mediate conflicts in order to keep moving forward.

Parents need to work on the ground, understood the ground sentiments and also became aware of the operational difficulties of any type of implementation. Continue to be "vigilant" as a top priority, balancing caring with good, effective processes and procedures to inculcate a positive learning attitude. As well as, believe in continuous improvement by equipping them with skills and "knowledge in diverse fields" is inregral, to shaping a confident and well-rounded individual to raise their "competency level" and "sharpen their acumen".

 

Through the staunch support by responsible caring and guidance of parents and adults, thus created a "positive influence" on gifted children. When gifted children are helped to learn techniques of positive self-concept, and specific stress-management procedures. Gifted children can be "inspiring, creative, and in harmony" with themselves and others.

 

As a result of this comprehensive approach, gifted children will embrace their obligations and responsibilities wholeheartedly. Only in this way, gifted children can learn to set priorities and to structure their own lives. . These gifted children develop personal integrity, a workable system of values and ethics, and social responsibility.

 



GENES FOR INTELLIGENCE

A long-standing controversy has existed in the search to understand "intelligence in our genes", concerning of by what means intelligence is inherited or is determined by the environment. Impressive advances in modus operandi for scanning genetic formation have inspired scientists, to pursue for specific gene or genes that can be linked to native intelligence.

 

Imaging technologies that probe the workings of the brain, are also valuable tools in this study. Since they may reveal the brain components, which account for the differences in intelligence among individuals. However, the environment also plays an important role, because some genes express their traits only when provoked by environmental influences.

 

Researchers often use studies of identical twins raised together and apart to reconnoiter, whether certain traits are the result of genetics or the environment. Results of twin studies conducted over the past two decades have convinced some scientists, that genes play a crucial role in intelligence but they do not act alone.

 

"Most of the students of this have focused on identical twins who were raised in different families from birth. The results have indicated that about 60% to 70% of the similarity in IQ scores is due to inherited ability. (Sattler, 1982)."

 

The environment seems to have principally powerful influence on gene related to intelligence. Intelligence can be heightened through nurturance and hindered through neglect and abuse. Particularly in young children, often show a significant increase in intelligence, as a result of increased emotional support and intellectual stimulation. Therefore, IQ scores may increase by ten, twenty or more points. 

For example, if a child in an affluent home shows an interest in science, the parents is likely to get the child a book on science or a science kit. So learning and experimenting on science will make this child different, from one in an impoverished home whose interests in science will likely go unnoticed or unfulfilled.
 

"Once again, genes played only a small role in the variance of scores among poor children, but played a far stronger role in the variance of scores among affluent children (Harden, Turkheimer, & Loehlin, 2007)."

Gifted children comprise persons from all ethnic groups and lifestyles. It would not be precise, however, to assume that the gifted and talented individuals come from privileged environments. Twenty to thirty percent of talented individuals who hail from parents from a variety of skilled and unskilled profession and cultural background. Although intelligence is a general characteristic, it’s comprised of numerous separate component elements which may fluctuate widely in their potential level or in the amount of their development.

 

"The researchers suggest that an impoverished environment includes powerful forces that shape intelligence from the womb through school and beyond, thereby suppressing the genes associated with differences in intelligence from expressing themselves. On the other hand, in children growing up in the relative stability of affluent families, gene-based differences are more likely to emerge (Zimmer, 2008)."

 

The current prevailing theory is that there are many genes, each with a small influence that jointly generate the full range of variation of intelligence and their effects can be moderated by the environment. Furthermore, the deliberation over "nature" (gene) versus "nurture" (environment) is drawing to a close. Surprisingly, nature and nurture work together.

 

 

GIFTED AND TALENTED

The term gifted is used in schools to describe students whose cognitive ability or talents far exceed those of the average student. Broader definitions may use gifted to describe a process of asynchronous development, that recognizes not only intellect and talent but also emotional traits such as heightened sensitivity.

Many terminologies are used to describe individual who demonstrates exceptional talent. Sometimes, these terms themselves become a challenge to understand. Nevertheless, there is prevalent recognition that high intelligence exists, and may be expresses in many different ways:

Intelligence has always been a matter of extensively discussion. Even researchers in gifted education have a challenging time, agreeing on what giftedness means. But, agreement exists on one thing:

 

 

"Giftedness derives from a well above average level of intelligence in one or more observable behaviors."
 

The vagueness of the term limits its usefulness in helping educators design an educational program for an individual student.

 

 

"Exceptional" is an appropriate term when referring to a gifted child as being different from the regular school population, although it is also used to describe children with learning difficulties.

 

 



In recent years, most researchers have moved away from defining giftedness solely in terms of IQ tests. Presently, have broadened its usage by including such as "creativity" and "motivation" as other characteristics of gifted performers.

 

 

"Some psychologists complained that because many IQ test item had a cultural and socioeconomic bias, students from minority or poor families were destined to get lower scores. It eventually became apparent that IQ tests were not as a satisfactory measure of giftedness and that people could be gifted in different ways, such as in academic areas, sports, performing arts, or in business ventures. As early as 1951, researchers realized that IQ tests did not measure these capabilities (Lally & LaBrant, 1951)."

 

 

Characteristics of gifted and talented children derive from across different ethnic groups, have some common indicators. But each ethnicity has distinct and unique behavioral attributes. Some definitions also consider the person’s contributions to society and culture.

 

 

 

LEVELS OF GIFTEDNESS

IQ test score are only a single statement of a person's overall potential. The distribution of mental abilities as measured by tests of intelligence. Although theses test scores are not the only way of measuring giftedness.

 

 

Test results can be interpreted in standard deviations (SD) from the norm, a clarification of how far from average an individual's responses are. Conventionally, each standard deviation from the norm represents a different group to be served.

 

Note: SD means standard deviation(s). The descriptive terms and corresponding ranges vary among systems and tests. These are intended for a test with a normative mean of 100 and standard deviation of 15.



 

A person can be gifted in a creative sense without having an IQ score above 130. Though an IQ score of 130 or above, are generally used by various professionals and school systems, as a cut-off score as other indications of creativity or talent.

 

The average IQ score is 100. Two-thirds of all people have IQ scores in the range from 90 to 110. Most tests of intelligence only measure an IQ score as high as 145 to 160, though it is possible to extrapolate score beyond this. According to the normal curve of probability, theoretically there should be only one person in ten thousand with an IQ of 160, and only one in a million with an IQ of 180.

 



"Intelligence has no absolute ceiling; no one knows how high intelligence could be."

 

It is inappropriate to think that all gifted are alike. People who are exceptionally gifted are as different from moderately gifted individuals as the moderately gifted differ from the average. Very few people are gifted in all areas. Paradoxically, some people can be gifted in some aspects of learning, while displaying learning disorders in others.

 

To effectively serve the needs of exceptionally gifted children, an intelligence test must have sufficient discrimination at the upper ranges of ability. It must differentiate levels of giftedness up to and including the exceptionally and profoundly gifted.

 

 

IDENTIFYING GIFTED CHILDREN

 

Group administered intelligence tests are another common approach to identifying gifted students. In practical terms, much actual identification of gifted children is currently done by teachers whom may be the first to recognize potential areas of giftedness. It is these "teacher-identified children" who constitute most gifted programs.

 

The Marland Report [1972] concluded that six major categories of gifted and talented children should be recognized.

"Since each category contained children...who by virtue of, outstanding abilities are capable of high performance."

 

The students included were those with demonstrated achievement or has the potential for demonstrating an exceptionally high level of performance in one or more areas of the following areas:

 

These categories encompass a wide range of giftedness that extends beyond a simple notion of intelligence.

 

"In practice, however, most programs for gifted children emphasize the first two categories with a focus on intellectual ability and academic aptitude (Fox, 1981)."

 

Despite imperfections, current tests of intelligence and creativity are useful and important instruments for measuring one child's intellectual abilities. Currently, the process of identifying gifted students and the programs designed to address their needs vary greatly by grade level and school district. Such comparisons occur in every classroom, as teachers develop expectations of children's potential to learn based on their observations and grading. However, overlooks many gifted students.

 

 

"Several studies have shown that teacher nomination correctly identifies less than half of students, later found to be gifted through individual testing. Usually, the errors overlook gifted students, although about 10% of the students identified by teachers as intellectually gifted actually were not. Even exceptionally gifted students are not immune from oversight. As many as 25% are missed by teachers (Marland Report, 1972)."

 

 

Most of the Terman study, children were nominated by their teachers, were then required to score high on group administered tests. A procedures which would have a tendency to favor children willing and able to reveal their giftedness in the ordinary, expected ways. School personnel typically presume that students who achieve in the 95th percentile or above, are the one gifted intellectually.

 

Many gifted children are not motivated to demonstrate their abilities in the standardized format of achievements tests. They may even be hindered because of their creative approaches or because these tests rely too heavily on "verbal", rather than "other skills". These achievement tests ordinarily contain a "limited" number of items, so "missing or skipping" only one or two items can results in a drop of five or ten percentile point.

 

 

Further, it appears that the most highly gifted children are penalized the most by these group test scores. Gifted children who were already emotionally disturbed, unmotivated towards classroom work, or who had unusual ways of expressing their mental ability were not as likely to be included. Children with specific talents such as music or art but lacking a measured high level of intelligence, usually are neglected and fall through the cracks.

 

 

As a result, potentially gifted students have gone through school without their gifts ever being recognized. Gifted students who are not identified and served by these programs are not likely to ever have their "needs fully met" while in school. The student never feels fulfilled, "loses self-esteem", and lacks direction. Meanwhile, the teacher is faced with student "underachievement", "boredom" and a "litany of discipline problems".

 

 

Certain points must be made regarding the Government’s strategic approaches towards each branch of the overall educational structure, is to examine the current state of programs for the gifted. Students are "captains of their own fate". Buildings, campuses and educational facilities merely facilitate one’s learning; the responsibility is on the individuals to seek knowledge.

 

 

Although the system is not perfect, but there is a safety net to catch youngster who are unable to keep up with their peers in highly competitive educations systems. Since each learning path is designed for specific category of students, and the Government is no doubt doing all within its power to maintain and improve upon the edge in an increasingly competitive world.

 

 

"The U.S. government added its own definition of giftedness in the No Child Left behind Act of 2004. In Title IX, A, (22), gifted and talented students are defined as those "whose give evidence of high achievement capability in areas such as intellectual, creative, artistic, or leadership capacity, or in specific academic fields, and who need services or activities not ordinarily provided by the school in order to fully develop those capabilities."

 

 

The loss of such potential is a serious blow to society as well as to the student and teacher. "Never judge a book by its cover, and an educational institution’s value to society must never be judged by the eminence of its edifice". It may be this factor, in addition to the apathy, indifference and ignorance of professionals, that accounts for the low recognition of gifted children by school administrators.

 

 

Gifted children presents unique challenges to both their parents and teachers. As an exceptionally gifted children often walk hand-in-hand with "exceptionally vulnerability". Where possible, it is highly encouraged that parents should talk with the teachers or educators to share observations and information. Exchange sessions which are important platform to engage and share matter with educators , to draw out suggestions and initiatives to enhance for instance, to better accelerate learning curve and application of best practices.

 

"Making realistic judgments is as difficult for teachers as it is for parents. Studies have shown that teachers are unable to identify over half of the children determined as gifted individual intelligence tests [Fox.1981]."

 

Parents often are the first to recognize their child's giftedness. Sometimes an early unusual "sense of humor" is apparent. While parents must be aware of "natural pride" and a possible tendency to think their own children are bound to be gifted. It is important, that parents need to have an open and inquisitive mind, to trust their own observations and judgment in knowing about their child's abilities and talents.

 

To get the most realistic appraisal of potentials, parents may decide to have individual intellectual and achievement evaluation of their child by a qualified psychologist. Every state has a "Director of Programs for the Gifted". From this office, parents can be directed to the nearest coordinator of gifted educational programs who, sequentially can be a source of resources and referral.

 

"It is appropriate to ask professionals inside or outside school systems about credentials, licenses, and areas of formal specialty training."

 

At times, it is best to get the testing done outside the school system. Testing takes the evaluation about someone largely out of the realm of subjective impression. Parents may arrange testing merely to get more information for appropriate planning purposes, or to get a baseline of the child's current functioning, in order to negotiate an alternative course of action in the child's school.
 

 

Parents need to become well-informed about the psychological tests and the testing procedures, as well as about characteristics of their gifted children. Even if parents do not seek testing, they need to become knowledgeable since schools generally use tests for placement. Though these placement decisions are determined significantly by various psychological and educational tests, school administrators often have little clinical training. Their training in statistics, tests and measurements may be less than that of many parents.

 

"However, school officials who insist that even high scores on individually administered tests must be imprecise. Then a psychologist may need to become ally to explain to school authorities’ supportive data about the tests used."

 

 

It is important to remember that the abilities that constitute intelligence do not develop at a constant, smooth rate. Until puberty, some children appear to have genetically based developmental trends where their intellectual growth pattern, similar to their physical growth pattern, is a series of spurts and pauses.

 

 

When individual growth patterns vary significantly, retesting may be needed to determine the extent that developmental lags may be hindering the child's achievement or other functioning.

 

 

RIGHT BRAIN/ LEFT BRAIN

 

 

Several thrilling new notions about intelligence and achievement have recently come to light in discussions of "right brain" and "left brain" children. Though evidently, everyone uses both brain hemispheres. Research has suggested that some people predominantly use one brain hemisphere more than the other.

 

 

Whatever part of the brain which sends out information, is the same part of the brain that receives it. Interestingly, it's also important for our purposes to know, that the right hemisphere functioning is the first area of the brain to develop while the left hemisphere develops later.

 

Not all areas of the brain are online, when we are born. What's significant is that areas in the right hemisphere, become active in the first two years of life. Whereas the left hemisphere, doesn't come online fully until 18 months to two years. Although the right brain develops first before any verbal or conceptual ability appears, an intense amount of learning happens in those first years.

 

Technically speaking, the right brain encodes the implicit procedural memories which accumulated in the earliest years of life, well before the analytical left brain came online.

 

Each hemisphere of the brain functions like two different personalities with their own way of processing information.

 

Adapted from E. Paul Torrance, Your Style of Learning and Thinking, The Gifted Child Quarterly 1977, Vol. XXI, No. 4, winter.

It is important to note that not all children, learn in the same mode or have the same kind of intelligence.

 General measures of achievement or intelligence through group tests, typically rely heavily on left-brain functions. For parents of right-brained children, it may be practical to remember that most school tasks and expectations emphasize on left-brain processes.

 

Particularly for right-brained children, their thinking approaches to creative problem solving are not sufficiently measured by typical group achievement, aptitude or intelligence tests. Because of this, they do not provide sufficient information about patterns of specific abilities and levels of achievement for appropriate program placement.

 

 

MYTHS ABOUT GIFTEDNESS

The lack of understanding and the lack of priority given by our society to these persons foster a climate in which the emotional needs of gifted children are often neglected.

 

"We are increasingly being stripped of the comfortable notion that a bright mind will make its own way."

Although gifted students possess exceptional capabilities, most cannot excel without assistance. Gifted children need assistance academically and emotionally through understanding, acceptance, support and encouragement. But to be successful at this, parents and adults must dispel the myths of being gifted and talented.

 

This simple-minded generalization of misconception such as those shown in Table below.

 

"Contrary to what most people believe, a gifted mind is not necessarily able to find its own way."

 

People often assume that gifted children will always find an intrinsic way to learn. A prevailing notion in public education, that these children can take care of themselves and learn a great a deal on their own. Unfortunately, these assumptions do not reflect an accurate understanding of the nature of giftedness. Dually exceptional children often experience increased frustration, due to the way in which both parts of their personality interface.

 

For example, a "learning-disabled", yet gifted child often will "underperform" because of frustration related to the inability to express his ideas at school as a result of his learning block or disability. Driven by boredom, the child fall out of sync with school and withdraw from the learning environment. Closer attention needs to be paid to the unique needs of these gifted students.

 

"Gifted children typically have a broad range of interests and are intrinsically motivated to learn. However, they also are resistant to taking risks, a trait related to their need to be perfect. Furthermore, they can become easily bored and somewhat rigid in their thinking. If they believe that school or a specific subject is of little value to them, they will become very resistant to the class and may decide it is not necessary to learn the subject at all. This is typical with gifted children and part of the specific personality traits of this population (Webb et al. 2007).

HOW DO OTHERS REACT TO GIFTEDNESS?

"Gifted children may be generally neglected by our society, but they are rarely ignored as individuals."

Virtually all gifted children do become civilized even though they may continue to march to a different drummer. As a matter of fact, most gifted children show a far greater concern for the welfare of humanity than most civilized persons.

 

Their alacrity, curiosity, intensity, questioning and quirks of behaviors, can add up to a very trying situations and intensive periods. Often negatively, evoke strong emotional reactions of others to these differences with anger, sarcasm and criticism.

 

The underlying message is "You better learn right now that you have to be just like everyone else!"

 

Terms such as in Table below are applied to gifted children in a negative and even punishing mode.

 

Unfortunately, too many adults and parents feel that they must "publicly criticized" the child's abilities, or sarcastically implying that the child’s giftedness is undesirable and make it a liability, rather than an asset, to be gifted.

 

Frequent exposure to such evaluative comments can stunt the gifted children emotional growth and set the stage for emotional withdrawal, insecurity, stress, poor self-concept and a deep distrust of interpersonal relationships.

 

Thus, a major strength of gifted children is turned against them. Gifted children who has not learned to interpret their feelings. Particularly, after enduring numerous discouraging statements, rejections and criticisms. Usually, loses their motivation.

 

"Gifted and talented children are, in fact, deprived and can suffer psychological damage and permanent impairment of their abilities to function well...."

 

 

IRRATIONAL BELIEFS

 

"There is just one life for each of us: our own."

 

As gifted children mature, they often have difficulty tolerating many ordinary aspects of the society. Gifted children frequently look for consistency, and are irritated when they find inconsistencies, loopholes, and exceptions. Much of the surrounding world of gifted children may seem irrational, full of banalities, platitudes, clichés and simple-minded thinking.

 

Apparently obvious solutions are never tried, or may be blocked by short-sighted people concerned with their immediate self-interest. These same people, sometimes deride the difference, may possibly try to make the gifted children conform to a more "normal mold".

 

The differences between gifted children moral and intellectual views and those of the others with whom they spends time can be a "major stressor". Gifted children perception of reality differs from the average children insight. Gifted children particularly those who are "left-brained", usually prefer a world of logic and order including rational approaches. Their concern with universal laws and principles rises above the usual provincial and personal ethical concerns of most people.

Adapted from A.Ellis and R.A.Harper, A New Guide To Rational Living. N.Y: Institute for Rational Living, 1975

Disgruntled with the world around them, gifted children may begin to vigorously question customs, traditions, rules and limits. But their questioning and tradition-breaking often cause discomfort for family members and others. Even their peers may find their tradition-breaking threatening, uncomfortable or weird, very much in conflict with the prevailing values and views.

 

For example, a gifted child may have vast knowledge about different religions from a factual point of view. She may not, however, appreciate how socially inappropriate it is to point out to her Dad that his religious views are illogical.

 

 

As various customs and traditions are irrational, illogical, hypocrisies or arbitrary. They are difficult for gifted children with "exceptional analytical ability" to accept. Probably they may reject many of these impractical, meaningless and sometimes harmful customs.

 

Breaking a tradition the child has previously upheld, or believed in, puts the child’s in a "state of crisis". "There is also the conflict between the safety of the known and the adventure of the unknown". However, it takes great moral courage to do what is right and worthwhile and self-confidence to attempt of something new.

 Adapted from KOHLBERG, 1964.

Gifted children are likely to experience stress in various circumstances, from feelings out of place with the environment that they bear "special psychological burden". Gifted children frequently begins to feel different, alienated, and alone in a world of different views and values. Perhaps, gifted children discover "problems in life do not have solutions - only decisions or compromises".


Therefore, gifted children may seriously question their own worth. These dilemmas often comes as a shock to them, and may cause significant stress.

 

 

"All of us need a certain amount of stress in our life, though the amount varies from person to person. Too little challenge and we do not use our abilities to achieve sufficiently to feel worthwhile or important. Too much stress, and we suffer in one way or another."

 

 

However, if the environment is not supportive. Gifted children early sense their need to get away and to retreat into limited, perhaps even in "unique talents" as a means of withdrawal and protection of their identity, at the level they consider essential. Creative people in particular, require solitude to nourish their creative energies.



"Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries."

 

While "solitude may be a refuge of genius", all human beings need relationships with others. Even so, most gifted children would likely very much want, to have a wide range of meaningful relationships with others, while protecting their right to the solitude they require.

 

"Solitude, though necessary, can become a prison instead of a retreat." Particularly, if it is sought because the child lacks of social skills or feels alienated from most of the people around him.

 

Others problems may arise, since gifted children emotional maturity and social judgment may not be developed to the same degree as his curiosity or knowledge about facts. These children may "rebel", if they feel that people are forcing others on them at the expense of their own interests.

 

Strong feelings arise and there may be an "emotional confrontation". Feeling frustrated and different, gifted children often become rebellious in one way or another. Sometime causing considerable consternation and confusion to their parents and others.

 

 

If parents try to develop an appreciation and understanding, on how the world looks from a gifted children "point of view". Parents may possibly be able to see, how even very young children may face a kind of "existential crisis". Imagine, that there is no other world to live in, and much of the world's conceptions are, in fact, "mediocre".

 

Other stresses are placed on gifted children by "insensitive behavior" of others. Sometimes, others act out of resentment or lack of understanding; out of jealousy; or other times, they seem to act out of foolishness.

 

It will be important for parents to help gifted children learn to recognize that the behaviors and attitudes of others, are largely outside their control. Instead, gifted children can control their own reactions and feelings toward others.

 

Fortunately, gifted children are usually quite capable of reasoning and anticipating probable "consequences of situations". With this perspective, gifted children can creatively explore options and expand their behaviors in ways that they decides, reflect how they wants to be known.

 

"Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world."



 

GIFTEDNESS AND BEHAVIOR

 

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential."

 

The relationship between giftedness and challenging behaviors is worth consideration, although certainly not as extreme. Gifted youngsters may have increased risk for emotional and behavioral challenges than their more typical peers.

 

Some gifted children, teenagers in particular, will act as a though they have "no feelings" and they do not care in the least, of what others think of them. Sometimes with older gifted children, a disciplinary situation gets "unusually complex". They may want to consider numerous aspects in complicated ways. Their attempts to express their perceptions and interpretations, are so often frustrated.

 

Therefore, gifted children may prefer to keep his feelings and opinions to himself. Usually when kids deny that they have feelings. It means that the feelings are "too sensitive" to be dealt with or are afraid that their feelings would not be accepted or appreciated if they were expressed.

 

Table below describes some of the potential behavior challenges that can be caused by characteristics of gifted children also considered to be strengths of their giftedness.

 

POSSIBLE BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH CHARACTERISTIC STRENGTHS OF GIFTED STUDENTS

 

 Note: Adapted from Clark, 1992.

 

It seems that "childrens of tomorrow", will crave nothing more than "freedom". May actually be ahead of us, in terms of "sensing what’s essential". Another challenge is, to manage the differing needs and expectations and to build a trusting relationships with them.

 

Often, gifted children just want adults to listen and a chance to share their feelings, whether in frustration or joy. In lending an ear, parents should give confirmation that his views are important. It conveys that parents care about him and are an ally. Usually, expected to come to a resolution, which requires some form of tradeoffs from both side.

 

This means, being able to put ourselves, in the shoes of the child to understand how they think, or more importantly, to use this perspective for a more positive experience. Encourage the child to take responsibility for himself and his actions, by "pointing out options" and by "giving him choices".

 

By emphasizing real choices, parents will be less likely to have to deal with an explosion of accumulated anger and resentment. This may prevent many confrontations, that might result in "win-lose conflicts". While at the same time, promoting "healthy independence" and "self-discipline".

 

Supplying support and positive reinforcement from parents and other adults, not only provides good models of attractive behavior. But also inoculates gifted children, against interpersonal pressures that they will encounter in the future.
 

 

WHAT DRIVES OUR BEHAVIORS?

 

"Every human has four endowments- self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change."

 

 

There is a hierarchy of needs described by Maslow (1954) which helps explain the development of most humans. In which may provide better understanding for some of the reasons for your gifted child's behavior.

 

These are presented in order, from most basic human need to the most advanced. A sequence that we see in human development from infancy to adulthood.

 

 

Level 1: Physiological Needs

If the child is hungry or fatigued, these basic physical needs will be the most important motivators at that time. It is difficult to help a child, focus on other important dimensions until these Level 1 needs are met.

Level 2: Safety Needs

 

Self-protection is the next step. If a child feels unsafe, whether physically or mentally endangered. Obtaining safety and protection becomes primary. It is difficult, at that moment, for a child to expend energy on learning, if he feels vulnerable, exposed and unsupported.

Level 3: Belonging Needs

 

When a child's physical needs are reasonably well met, and when he does not feel threatened or endangered. His motivation turn toward desires to belong and to be loved. Self-identity comes largely from the degree to which he feels he belongs to certain groups and is respected by them. He feels himself like them; this similarity then suggests, that he is acceptable.

 

Of course, no reasonable person feels that a child must belong to every group or be held in esteem by all people. However, until a child learns how to differentiate the groups that are important and valuable for him from those that are not. He will spend a great deal of energy pursuing a sense of belonging and esteem in ways that are directed and changeable.

Level 4: Needs For Self-Esteem and For Love

 

As the more basic needs are satisfied and a child comes to feel more secure, his motivations begin to turn inward. He begins to place more importance on how he feels about himself, and worries less about how others would feel towards him, if he were to disagree with them. His personal values become clearer. He begins wanting to actively reach out to the world. To invest his energies and desires, in loving ways toward others. He rewards himself though his own value system.

Level 5: Needs for Mental Understanding and Self-Actualization

 

When the prior needs are reasonably met, a person focuses internally even more on issues of:

 

"Who am I?"

"Am I free to make choice in this world?"

"What are the most important parts of being human?"

The person becomes aware of potentials and powers within himself, and seeks to develop and actualize these potentials. Gifted children have a strong potential to reach this advanced level of motivation.

 

As a rule, the basic needs must be reasonably satisfied before one can move on to more advance needs. If a significant problem or threat develops with one of the earlier and more basic needs, that need will emerge and take priority over everything else.
 

 

 

 THINGS TO AVOID

Do Not Use A Child's Strength For Punishment.

 

 

Avoid using your child's strength, as part of your criticism of him. To do so, makes it a disadvantage to have special talents. Another strength that is sometimes, used against gifted children is their honesty. Do not torment him with his honesty, tease or embarrass him. If parents punish him, for trusting your understanding and compassion, it is not likely to encourage cooperation and truthfulness. Be alerts to putting a child in the no-win position, in which he gets punished if he caught lying or honest.

Avoid Being A Dictator.

 

Authoritative demands for immediate action by the child are inconsiderate and should be avoided. Since gifted children are likely to be involved in something, any time parents want them to do something else. Impatience builds! Giving the child a signal or warning, about when you wish him to leave. Allows him to arrange to get to a stopping point. "It is the way we would communicate with an adult, whose respect we valued".

For example, often parents say to their child, "I don't care what you're involved in!"

 

 

Avoid Personal Wipe-Out Statements.

 

 

Not only do such threats prove ineffective, they are so exaggerated that they damage parent’s credibility with the child in the future. These statements usually involve "always" or "never", constitute a sweeping attack on the child's total character. These have no reasonable place in discipline. Not only are they ineffective, they are also harmful.

 

These are statements like "You are always inconsiderate!" or "You never think of anyone but yourself! "

 

 

Do Not Use Ridicule Or Sarcasm.

 

Ridicule is likewise harmful. Gifted children are quite sensitive to ridicule and sarcasm, and easily hurt by it. When they are exposed to it, despite their own hurt. They sometimes begin using ridicule and sarcasm, as weapons in their dealings with others. Often, with disastrous effects.

 

 

Avoid Nagging Your Child or Being Nagged By Him.

 

Periodically check yourself on this, to see if you are harassing your child ineffectively. Instead of continually criticizing, learn to ignore the behaviors until they go away. Change your attitude about them or do something effective to change them. Most people think of ignoring as a passive activity; actually it is more effective as an active one. Purposely, think of something, other than the stressful thought or situation.

Active ignoring works for feelings and thoughts, as well as for tense situations. Do not let temper tantrums or other misbehaviors cause you to do what is self-defeating for you or your child. Nonetheless, continue to remind yourself of the need to maintain a sense of perspective about the goals, you hope to achieve and the progress you have made.


Gossiping Hurts.

 

Many parents are careful to avoid gossiping about adults, but are unaware that they are gossiping about their children, often right in front of them. Usually this talk involves a problem the child is having. The child understand the conversations, they overhear on the phone or with neighbors.

It is as unfair to a child as it is to an adult, to air his problems in public, and can set the stage for a discipline problem to get even worse. Later, the child may have difficulty seeing why they are forbidden to talk outside the family, for example, about the parents' marital problems!

Avoid Harsh, Inconsistent Punishment.

 

It is one of the most damaging approaches to discipline, as well as being ineffective in changing most behaviors. Such punishment results in anger, distrust and disrespect for authority, and a feeling that the world is unpredictable and unsafe. Children raised in such an environment, rarely have an adequate self-concept or positive view of themselves, and harsh, inconsistent punishment fosters delinquency or even criminal behavior. (McCord, et a., 1959).

It should be apparent that a major emphasis must be placed on helping the gifted child recognize his feeling, label them accordingly, and use them as tools for growth. Gifted children often relate better to philosophical goals than to pragmatic, practical ones.

A goal for gifted children is to help them realize that though they are different. They have much in common with others and help them learn social, interpersonal and self-development skills to relate to the rest of humanity.

It is important to maintain his eager attitude, as well as to cultivate assertiveness and independence. It is important to help the child to set his own goals and to believe in himself. These children will thrive and they are able to actualize their mental potential in creative ways that benefit themselves and society.

"Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."

 

 

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

 

References 

 

Terman, L.M Genetic Studies of Genius. Vol I. Mental and Physical Traits of A Thousand Gifted Children. Stanford: Stanford Univ. Press, 1925.
McCord, W. McCord, J. And Zola, I.K. Origins of Crimes. N.Y: Columbia University Press, 1959.

Kohlberg, L. Development of Moral Character and Moral Ideology. In M.L. Hoffman and L.W. Hoffman (Eds.), Review Of Child Development Research, Vol. I. N.Y: Russell Sage, 1964.

Marland, S. Education of the Gifted and Talented, U.S Commission of Education, 92nd Cong. 2nd Session, Washington, and D.C: USCPO, 1972.

Ellis, A. And Harper, R.A. A New Guide to Rational Living. N.Y: Institute for Rational Living, 1975.

E.Paul Torrance, Your Style of Learning and Thinking, the Gifted Child Quarterly. 1977, Vol. XX1, No.4.

American Association of Gifted Children. On Being Gifted. New York: Walker and Co. 1978.

Wright, L. Parent Power: A Guide to Responsible Child Rearing. N.Y: William Morrow And Co. 1980.

Coleman, D. 1528 Little Geniuses And How They Grew. Psychology Today, 1980, 13(9) Feb.

Garfield, E. Will A Bright Mind Make Its Own Way? Current Contents, 1980.

Fox, L.H. Identification of the Academically Gifted. American Psychologist, 1981.

Lakein, A. How to Be a Gifted Parent. N.Y: Norton, 1981.

Sattler, J.M. Assessment of Children's Intelligence and Special Abilities. Boston: Allyn and Bacon, 1982.

How the Gifted Brain Learns

High IQ Kids: Collected Insights Information

Clark, B. Growing Up Gifted. Columbus, Ohio: Charles Merrill Co. 1979. (Adapted from Clark, 1992) (Webb et al, 2007) (Silverman, 1989) (Harden, Turkheimer, & Loehlin, 2007) (Zimmer, 2008) {Gagne 1985} (Lally & LaBrant, 1951) Maslow (1954)